Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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