I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
