were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
