Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
