I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
He better not be in your backpack
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
