I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
