i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
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Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
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I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Sext me about skeletons
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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