i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
