I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
He did a backflip because drugs
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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