Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize