My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
