She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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