Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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