i need an iv and a liver transplant
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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