we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
