When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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