He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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