just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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