they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
