We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
