He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
