My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Randomize