Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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