Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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