The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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