After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
