He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
