Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize