Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
