What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
