Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
accomplished twins. life is a go
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Randomize
