So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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