If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
only if we run a train.
done.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
