I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
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