is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
