I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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