He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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