i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize