Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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