I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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