I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
