I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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