It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
drinking out of a sandbucket again
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
