Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
