Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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