have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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