do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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