I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
