No awkward lesbian experiences without me
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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