if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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