8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
