I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
