if you like me you must not know who I am
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Randomize
