So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
