okay pat passed out under dana's car
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
smell my finger.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
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