My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Im part way to drunk.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
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