Jerry, you need to find god
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
