When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Randomize
