omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
