you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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