So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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