actually, I'm a sock model
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
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